Deeper dating new york city

In other words, dating becomes a journey of self-revelation in which you are discovering and sharing more about your true self in the context of getting to know the true self of others.As you shift to this deeper psychology of dating, you end up with many unexpected benefits (even if someone is not your life partner, they might become a life-long friend). You realize that you CAN be loved, desired and appreciated for being you.The problem with all of the typical strategies is that they tend to be based on a psychology that tells you that being a successful dater means being inauthentic or only leading with your “most desirable” traits. by to finally “win” the dating game and get the man or woman you want.This sends the signal subconsciously that the parts of yourself you feel insecure about will not be fully loved if your prospective mate discovers them.Not only do these techniques fail time and again, they also tend to amplify your attraction to exactly the wrong type of person and increase the likelihood that you’ll repeat painful scenarios of the past.Following the old rules of dating means devaluing your deepest Self – and that results in repeating old, unhealthy patterns!Most importantly, you come to understand that what you thought were the “warts” you had to hide from others in order to be loved are actually the very parts of yourself from which you have real and enduring gifts to give.

And the worst part is that you discover that this whole approach tends to attract people who aren’t good for you – and you end up repeating the same dissatisfying patterns of the past.There is abundant research that shows that having a supportive, healthy love partnership leads to more happiness than a great job or lots of money.

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